Mom's Hero

I never imagined myself being a Stay-At-Home-Mom. Better yet, I never imagined myself being a Stay-At-Home-Mom AND enjoying it. 

I've tried hard not to take my life for granted, and yesterday it truly dawned on me how lucky I am. My husband walked in the door, greeted his girls with a kiss and plopped down on the couch out of pure exhaustion. After a moment, he struck conversation and asked, "Did Harper hit any new milestones today?".

It hit me right in the feels.

At 3 1/2 months old, she's changing daily. I've been fortunate enough to have not missed a milestone yet. I was there when the first tear rolled down her cheek. I witnessed her 'mad scientist' expression when she discovered her tiny, little hands. I experienced the sparkle in her eye and the way the room lit up when she smiled for the first time. It warmed my heart when she mimicked my god-awful laugh with the sweetest chuckles. I watched in disbelief as she not-so-gracefully rolled from her back to her stomach and then back again. I was the first to see her find her paci and miraculously put it in her mouth {even if by chance}. I never miss an opportunity to chat with her through coo's and vowels. I have been there for EVERY first. 

I get to be the one that consoles her when she's upset, laugh and giggle with her when she's happy, rock her to sleep when she's tired and feed her when she's hungry. 

I don't have to miss a moment because my husband does. He wakes up every morning and works hard so that I can stay home. He works days, nights and weekends to build a business so he can provide for his family. He never complains. He never controls. He never shows resentment. He just does. 

I've come to love my job as full-time mom and house wife, but does he?

As the the day gradually, yet suddenly turns to night, my husband walks through the door to find me with my hair in a bun, no make-up on, rockin' the same leggings and sweater {which is likely covered in spit-up} he left me in and I can't help but wonder if my husband looks at me and wonders where the heck the attractive, young, goal digger, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants {wait, that was never me} lady he crushed on 5 years ago went? Mom. That's where she disappeared to. Just kidding. But there's truth behind every joke, right? 

Chasing down higher positions in the corporate world, hitting budgets, creating business plans... that's impressive. Breastfeeding, playing with the baby, changing diapers, laundry, house cleaning and cooking don't quite uphold the same prestige. 

Never once has he made me feel like less because I'm not a financial contributor to the household.  Despite the occasional identity crisis {what did I do all day, again?} and self doubt {can I get some red lipstick and high heels?} that rears it's ugly head, I know that my husband looks at the circles around my eyes, the spit-up covered outfit, the messy hair and appreciates, loves, and admires me as 'mom' just as much as he did the ladder-climbing-corporate-career woman. In order to fully appreciate the beautiful gift I've been given {time}, I need that. 

The provider. The working dad. The husband. 

The provider. The working dad. The husband. 

Like all things in life, transition and change comes with growing pains. Each day we're learning, communicating and finding our place in this world as parents. We're moving forward together as we re-discover our roles and adjust to the new normal. We are finding marriage after a baby, which is exceptionally hard when one of us {ahem, me} is a helicopter parent {we all saw that coming}.   

After he questionably asked about Harper's new milestones, I couldn't help but think, it's my husband who's made the ultimate sacrifice. He has to ASK about milestones while I'm sleeping, eating, breathing them. He instills a confidence in me that makes me believe that what I do at home is and always will be enough. And dare I even mention the pressure he endures of supporting a family on a business he's built, working hard every day to ensure it's success and gratefully doing so, so I don't have to miss a thing?  

Because of him, I get to bathe in Harper's every fleeting moment before it becomes a distant memory.

As new mom's, it's easy to get wrapped up in our little bundle of joy, but remember to give those hard-working, attention deprived, good guys in your life some love too. 

XoXo, 

Spencer's Wife, Harper's Mama